Opinion Aliens are among us — and they want to impeach Biden
- That there are “quite a number” of “nonhuman” space vehicles in the possession of the U.S. government.
- That one “partially intact vehicle” was retrieved from Italian dictator Benito Mussolini in 1933 by the United States, acting on a tip from Pope Pius XII.
- That the aliens have engaged in “malevolent activity” and “malevolent events” on Earth that have harmed or killed humans.
- That the U.S. government is also in possession of “dead pilots” from the spaceships.
- That a private defense contractor is storing one of the alien ships, which have been as large as a football field.
- That the vehicles might be coming “from a higher dimensional physical space that might be co-located right here.”
- That the Roswell, N.M., alien landing was real, and the Air Force’s debunking of it a “total hack job.”
- And that the United States has engaged in a nearly century-long “sophisticated disinformation campaign” (apparently including murders to silence people) to hide the truth.
I’d tell you more, but then they would have to kill me.
Alas, Grusch has no documents, photos or other evidence to corroborate any of his fantastic claims. It’s classified, you see.
Maybe everything he says is true, even the claim that “the Vatican was involved” in pursuing extraterrestrials, and Grusch has just exposed the best-kept secret and most sprawling conspiracy in the history of the universe. Or maybe Grusch himself is a conspiracy theorist, or he’s just having a lark at the subcommittee’s expense. Easier to discern was the motive of several Republicans on the panel: They greeted his out-of-this-world claims with total credulity, using them as just more evidence that the deep-state U.S. government is lying to the American people, covering up the truth and can never be trusted. Their anti-government vendetta has gone intergalactic.
“There has been activity by alien or nonhuman technology and/or beings that has caused harm to humans?” asked Rep. Eric Burlison (R-Mo.).
Grusch said what he “personally witnessed” was “very disturbing.”
“You’ve said that the U.S. has intact spacecraft,” Burlison continued. “You’ve said that the government has alien bodies or alien species. Have you seen the spacecraft?”
Grusch said the nonclassified setting prevented him from divulging “what I’ve seen firsthand.”
“Do we have the bodies of the pilots?” Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) wanted to know.
“Biologics came with some of these recoveries, yeah,” Grusch told her, and the remains were “nonhuman.”
Mace asked whether, “based on your experience,”Grusch believes “our government has made contact with intelligent extraterrestrials.”
Classified, Grusch replied.
Just over a year ago, a House Intelligence subcommittee held a similar hearing on “unidentified aerial phenomena” but with dramatically different results. The panel’s bipartisan leadership said the matter should be taken seriously to protect pilots and to make sure enemies don’t develop breakthrough weapons. But they assured the public there was no evidence of “anything nonterrestrial in origin,” and they cautioned against conspiracy theories. In addition, Sean Kirkpatrick, the head of the Pentagon’s All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office, where Grusch worked, testified to senators in April that his UAP-hunting office “has found no credible evidence thus far of extraterrestrial activity, off-world technology or objects that defy the known laws of physics.” NASA has said likewise.
At the start of this week’s hearing, Rep. Robert Garcia (Calif.), the subcommittee’s ranking Democrat, reminded colleagues of Kirkpatrick’s testimony. One of the other witnesses, David Fravor, a retired Navy commander, told the subcommittee that the government is “not focused on little green men.” But this Republican majority has yet to meet a conspiracy theory it wouldn’t amplify, so it was only a matter of time before it landed on Roswell and Area 51.
Some of the House’s leading conspiracy theorists — Republicans Matt Gaetz, Paul Gosar, Virginia Foxx, James Comer — took seats on the dais, whether or not they were on the subcommittee. Many in the audience, who lined up for a seat in the room, applauded the beaming witnesses when they entered. And for more than two hours, Republicans on the subcommittee indulged in otherworldly accusations of a government coverup.
Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-Fla.) proposed that the government is trying “to gaslight Americans into thinking that this is not happening.” Rep. Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.) accused the government of “misdirection,” and Mace suggested the United States acted “unlawfully.” Complaints about overclassification even came from the Democratic side.
“The coverup goes a lot deeper” than politics, Rep. Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.) argued, vowing “to uncover the coverup” perpetrated by the Pentagon and the intelligence community. “You can’t trust a government that does not trust its people.” Burchett said he would like to visit Area 51 or other locations purportedly housing alien spaceships, but “as soon as we announce it, I’m sure the moving vans pull up.”
Asked by Burchett whether he knew people who had been “harmed or injured in efforts to cover up or conceal these extraterrestrial technology,” Grusch said “Yes, personally.”
“Anyone been murdered?” Burchett asked.
Grusch said he had to be “careful” about answering.
Burchett even complained that members of the subcommittee “were denied access to the SCIF,” the sensitive compartmented information facility in the Capitol where classified material can be discussed.
So now House Speaker Kevin McCarthy is part of the coverup?
“I don’t trust anything in this town,” complained Burlison.
But Burlison trusted Grusch COMPLETELY, even relying on the witness to explain the “interdimensional potential” of nonhuman spacecraft — which Grusch obligingly illustrated with his index finger.
“You can be projected, quasi-projected from higher dimensional space to lower dimensional,” he explained. “It’s a scientific trope that you can actually cross, literally, as far as I understand, but there’s probably guys with PhDs who would probably argue about that.”
Yeah, they probably would.
The truth is out there. Just don’t expect to learn it from the alien life forms currently running the People’s House.
Inflation has calmed, the stock market is at its highest since 2021, illegal border crossings are down, unemployment remains at its lowest in decades, and GDP growth just came in better than expected.
Time to create some chaos!
This is where the House Freedom Caucus comes in.
Members of the group of far-right Republican lawmakers gathered this week to outline their priorities for the House when it returns in September from its six-week recess. Their agenda can be summarized roughly as follows:
The first order of business is to shut down the federal government. The second order of business is to impeach President Biden — on charges TBD.
“We don’t fear a government shutdown,” proclaimed Rep. Bob Good (R-Va.), who convened this week’s Freedom Caucus news conference. Why not? “Most of what we do up here is bad anyway,” reasoned Good and “most of the American people won’t even miss [it] if the government is shut down temporarily.” (Good, notably, wasn’t in Congress for any of the previous shutdowns.)
Specifically, members of the Freedom Caucus demanded that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy renege on the bipartisan budget-and-debt-ceiling deal he agreed to with Biden about two months ago. Instead, they insisted on cutting 2024 spending by an additional $200 billion or so — and McCarthy, as usual, appears to be surrendering to their demands. The speaker also acceded to the extremists’ insistence on adding an apothecary full of poison-pill amendments to the 2024 spending bills, blocking abortion access, LGBTQ+ rights and efforts to promote racial diversity.
McCarthy’s latest surrender to the Freedom Caucus puts House Republicans on a seemingly inevitable collision course not just with Biden, who has promised to veto the bills, but with their fellow Republicans in the Senate, who want to set spending above the debt ceiling deal so that the military gets more funds.
On Thursday, the Senate Appropriations Committee completed passage of all 12 annual spending bills in overwhelmingly bipartisan fashion. In the House, by contrast, McCarthy’s attempts to placate the far right have turned the spending bills into partisan slugfests that even some Republicans can’t stomach; the House quit town a day early for its August recess on Thursday after failing to drum up enough GOP votes to pass one of its poison-pill-engorged bills.
The Freedom Caucus, cause of this chaos, is perfectly happy to shut down the government when the current fiscal year ends on Sept. 30. “We’re going to pass a good Republican bill out of the House and force the Senate and the White House to accept it or we’re not going to move forward,” Good argued. “We ought to use the leverage, if necessary, to force a government shutdown.”
This would likely mean national parks closed, airports snarled, food-safety inspections suspended, Social Security applications on hold, hundreds of thousands of federal workers furloughed, calls to the IRS unanswered, and courts, medical research, passports, small business loans, farm assistance and immigration proceedings all slowed. Then there’s the chance the shutdown would throw the economy into recession.
Good and his colleagues have a high pain tolerance. Though the heat has been oppressive in the capital, the six of them chose to hold their news conference outdoors, under a broiling midday sun. “Anybody got a sweater I can borrow?” joked Rep. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.). But that was nothing compared with the hurt they are about to inflict on the American public.
What will all those furloughed federal workers do during the shutdown? And what about all those Americans who won’t be able to catch flights, run their businesses or visit national parks?
Luckily for them, the Freedom Caucus has a solution. They can all watch President Biden’s impeachment.
Various hard-liners clamored for impeachment. The Freedom Caucus’s Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) even brought it to the House floor. And (stop me if you’ve heard this one before) McCarthy surrendered. “This is rising to the level of impeachment inquiry,” McCarthy told Fox News’s Sean Hannity Monday, vowing to “follow this all the way to the end and this is going to rise to an impeachment inquiry.”
At the Freedom Caucus news conference, lawmakers exulted in McCarthy’s latest capitulation. Good said McCarthy’s statement to Hannity “has caused a paradigm shift.”
“The Biden regime is coming to an end!” said Rep. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.).
There are still some wrinkles to be worked out, such as which high crime or misdemeanor Biden supposedly committed. Even those who level unsubstantiated charges of “bribery” against Biden’s kin admit they don’t have the goods on the president. “The only thing missing is direct evidence that Joe Biden knew and participated in these bribery schemes,” Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) admitted at a meeting of the House Oversight Committee last week.
To fish for any evidence (and to placate those few Republicans who are squeamish about impeaching Biden without any evidence), McCarthy told colleagues at their caucus meeting this week that the promised “impeachment inquiry” will be preceded by an impeachment “investigation.” McCarthy ally Don Bacon (R-Neb.), leaving the caucus meeting, explained this distinction-without-a-difference to a group of us. “We’re not ready for an inquiry,” he said. “We’re doing an investigation.”
A few Republicans object to their colleagues’ desire to “impeach everyone under the sun,” as Rep. Tony Gonzales (Tex.) put it.
Maybe sensible Republicans such as Bacon and Gonzales will finally push back against the extremists who are holding McCarthy hostage. Maybe they’ll reject Biden’s impeachment and oppose their colleagues’ pell-mell rush to shut down the government.
More likely they’ll do what they’ve always done in the past when hard-liners hijacked the House. Nothing.
No premarital sex before the prayer breakfast! Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.), speaking this week at South Carolina Republican Sen. Tim Scott’s annual breakfast for the devout, offered attendees what she allowed was “a little TMI.”
“Patrick, my fiancé, tried to pull me by my waist over this morning in bed,” Mace announced, “and I was like, ‘No, baby, we don’t got time for that this morning. I gotta get to the prayer breakfast.” Mace concluded: “He can wait. I’ll see him later tonight.”
No word on whether Patrick’s prayers were answered.
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