Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: email@example.com.
Letting Trump Fail
After the Republicans’ effort to replace the Affordable Care Act fell through in the Senate on Tuesday, President Trump said he’d now like to simply “let Obamacare fail.” On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon suggested that Mr. Trump knew a thing or two about failure himself.
“The big story is that the Republican bill to repeal and replace Obamacare has officially fallen apart. But Republicans say that they’re just going to let Obamacare fail while they regroup and figure out a new plan. And Democrats said: ‘Hey, that’s the same thing we’re doing with Trump!’” — JIMMY FALLON
This week is the end of the first six months of the Trump presidency. Mr. Fallon took the opportunity to rattle off some pros and cons.
“Pro: His old motto was ‘Make America Great Again.’ Con: His new motto is ‘Lawyer Up.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Pro: Seeing Trump at the G-20 summit. Con: Hearing him yell ‘Bingo!’ every time someone said, ‘G-20.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Pro: He’s doing his best. Con: That’s also what you say to your uncle who invites you to see his cover band.” — JIMMY FALLON
Kermit the Frog at the Negotiating Table
Stephen Colbert seemed a bit surprised to discover that Steve Whitmire, who has voiced Kermit the Frog since 1990, was fired by Disney over what the company called his hostile workplace behavior. But relatives of Jim Henson, the founder of the Muppets and the original voice of Kermit, said they agreed with executives.
“Jim Henson’s daughter Cheryl said, ‘Steve performed Kermit as a bitter, angry, depressed victim.’ So he might not be able to voice Kermit the Frog anymore, but he sounds like a good replacement for Sean Spicer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Using a puppet, “The Late Show” imagined how contract negotiations might go with a cantankerous Kermit. The best line from the bit:
“I am Kermit the freakin’ frog! I will make a rainbow connection with my foot and your [expletive].” — THE LATE SHOW’S ‘KERMIT THE FROG’
The Punchiest Punchlines (Sour Candy Edition)
“O.J. Simpson almost lost his chance at a parole hearing for eating a stolen cookie. O.J. denied stealing the cookie. Then he wrote a book about how he would have stolen it if he did.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Today was National Sour Candy Day. Either that, or that’s just what Mike Pence’s face looks like.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Wherein we discover that the vocalist Rita Ora doesn’t exactly know how a trombone is played — but things work out fine anyway.
Keegan-Michael Key got back in character as Luther, the anger translator for President Barack Obama, to give us a glimpse at what has really been going through Mr. Obama’s mind in recent months.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
One of the country’s most prominent Democratic governors, Terry McAuliffe of Virginia, is a leading figure in the resistance to President Trump’s policy goals. On Wednesday, he’ll speak to Trevor Noah on “The Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Our culture reporter’s new favorite fictional character is “basically a feminist Dilbert,” with an “anticapitalist sheen.” Believe it or not, that character was created by the same Japanese company that gave us Hello Kitty. Meet Aggretsuko.