Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: thearts@nytimes.com.
‘Shocking and Vicious. So, On-Brand.’
Stephen
Colbert declared himself shocked by President Trump’s vitriolic tweets
on Thursday about Mika Brzezinski, a co-host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”
That’s a feeling he thought he wasn’t able to experience anymore, he
told the “Late Show” audience. “I thought that my soul had calcified
into a crouton,” he said.
He picked apart the tweets, which accused Ms. Brzezinski of “bleeding badly” from plastic surgery.
“First of all, someone bleeding badly at your door, and you say no? Sounds like your health care plan.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This is shocking and vicious. So, on-brand.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
He quoted a Deadline.com article about the tweets suggesting that they marked a “new low” for the president. Mr. Colbert didn’t agree.
“No, it’s the same low. We’re at a cruising altitude of, like, the bottom of the Mariana Trench right now. There are giant squid looking down at America.” — STEPHEN COLBERTContinue reading the main story
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Continue reading the main story
Meyers Skewers the Health Care Bill
Near
the start of “Late Night,” Seth Meyers reacted to Mr. Trump’s tweets
with his own brand of bafflement. Introducing a new segment called “I
Can’t,” Mr. Meyers spent a solid 10 seconds in silence. Then he just
said: “I can’t.”
Mr.
Meyers did a longer segment on the Republican health care bill in the
Senate, quoting a poll showing 12 percent support for the legislation.
“Twelve percent? His health care bill is an iPhone in a horror movie. It’s going to hit zero, and everyone is going to die.” — SETH MEYERS
Mr. Meyers quoted a number of reports saying that many of Mr. Trump’s colleagues don’t believe he understands the bill.
“Watching this president try to negotiate a complex piece of legislation is like playing ‘Call of Duty’ with your grandmother. ‘Which one is me? Why can’t I go that way? Oh no, they’re shooting at us!’” — SETH MEYERS
He closed the monologue by also placing blame on Speaker Paul D. Ryan and Senator Mitch McConnell, the majority leader.
“To the likes of Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump’s presidency is a filet mignon steak with a little piece of [expletive] on it. And they’re willing to ignore that [expletive] to get to the steak. But it’s become clear that it’s actually a giant piece of [expletive] with a little bit of steak on it. And their attitude seems to be, ‘Well, we’re already at the restaurant.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Spirit Airlines Edition)
“President Trump last night hosted the first fund-raiser for his 2020 re-election campaign. The event was black tie, but white guest.” — SETH MEYERS
“A woman gave birth to a baby on a Spirit Airlines flight. When the flight attendant said, ‘Is there a doctor on board?’ the passengers said, ‘Of course not. This is Spirit Airlines.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Doesn’t get much more intellectual than this right here.
Clip-on pants?
Enjoy the Weekend
Have a great Independence Day weekend. The late-night hosts will all take off next week.
Also, Check This Out
“Gypsy”
is expertly acted and directed, with delicately placed motifs and a
slow-burning plotline. But ultimately it turns out to be proof that bad
TV can still be made very well. This, the critic James Poniewozik writes, is bad TV.
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